Beer"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

Never has such a great American philosopher uttered a more poignant statement. As my friends have said in the past, "a drunken word is the sober truth." You can say anything when you're drunk, and then if nothing happens, follow it up the next day with, "Man, I don't remember shit from last night." Both parties know what that means, but it's accepted.

Another facet of drinking, is the ability to play better pool. Sober, I'm horrible. Drunk, I'm horrible. In the fragile, golden level between, I'm a god. Minnesota Fats himself could not defeat me at that stage.

A great caveat of intoxication is the ability of shy guys to hit on girls whether they like it or not. I'm extremely shy, but after a few bottles of liquid courage, I'm the cock of the walk. I've met some cool girls at bars this way.

ChugAnd the final gift I bring to this world is my lovely ability to chug. I'm not sure why, but as an inexperienced drinker, I can chug with the best of them. This is a shot of me going for the gold in the first American-Finnish-Swedish Chug-a-thon.

Guess who won.

Hint 1: Look at the beer remaining.

Hint 2: Me.