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30Aug/110

After Irene

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Waves fifty feet past normal, up to the wall at First Beach.

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Waves fifty feet past normal, up to the wall at First Beach.

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Panorama at Weaver's Cove.

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Panorama at Weaver's Cove.

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National Guard directing traffic in Newport the day after the storm. No power means no traffic lights or street lights.

After the storm:

26Jun/110

Gay Marriage

New York has passed a law legalizing gay marriage. And a bunch of people are pissed. Because their old book says it's wrong.

The Bible against gays:
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. (Leviticus 18:22)

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. (Leviticus 20:13)

Sodom and Gomorrah punish sodomy (Sodomy is defined as any non-missionary style sex).

Crazy laws from the Bible:
Keep in mind, Christianity came after the Christ was born so the Old Testament applied to Jews. Like Jesus. Jesus was a Jew. Christians worship a Jew. Straight up, read Leviticus. In its entirety. It'll take ten minutes. That entire book is the Bible's Big Book of No. How many of those laws do you obey?

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcasses in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you. (Leviticus 11:10-12)
I sure do love eating lobsters, oysters, and clams. Also, I love Hell since I am heading there for eating them.

Thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed.(Leviticus 19:19)
Ever eat corn grown from the same field as strawberries? You will go to Hell.

Neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee (Leviticus 19:19) (never mix fabrics, according to most translations)
Poly-cotton blends? Go to Hell.

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. (Leviticus 19:27, 21:5)
Any man who has ever gone to a barber or shaves his face will go to Hell.

For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood [shall be] upon him. (Leviticus 20:9)
Hey Will Smith, "parents just don't understand"? No, you're a sinner with a passport to Hell. Anyone who has ever gotten mad at mom and dad will join him.

And the man that committeth adultery with [another] man's wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10)
Every cheater ever will go to Hell.

And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. (Leviticus 20:18)
Sorry Detroit, no Red Wings allowed in Heaven.

Ye shall therefore put difference between clean beasts and unclean, and between unclean fowls and clean: and ye shall not make your souls abominable by beast, or by fowl, or by any manner of living thing that creepeth on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean. (Leviticus 20:25)
Ever eat beef, pork, or poultry? Probably going to Hell.

A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood [shall be] upon them. (Leviticus 20:27)
Harry Potter is gonna be pissed. Because people still believe in wizards, right? Read a horoscope lately? I'm sure you'll read the next one in Hell, sinner.

A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, [or] an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife. (Leviticus 21:14)
Don't hate the player, hate the game. Women cannot have sex before marriage. Or they will go to Hell.

Neither shall he profane his seed among his people: for I the LORD do sanctify him. (Leviticus 21:15)
No masturbating or God's gonna be pissed.

Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him. And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Whosoever curseth his God shall bear his sin. And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death. (Leviticus 24:14-16)
Blasphemy has as much a clear definition as "bad." Blasphemy is "irreverence towards religion" in its loosest sense. Ever question God when something bad happens? Ever say "god damn it"? Ever claim land in God's name? Ever say "Jesus Christ" when not referring to the anointed one? You are all going to Hell.

For whatsoever man [he be] that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded; Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. He shall eat the bread of his God, [both] of the most holy, and of the holy. Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them. (Leviticus 21:18-23)
Ever meet someone who is not physically perfect and from the Jewish tribe of Aaron? Welp, they're going to Hell. And so are you if you didn't murder them on the spot.

Deuteronomy is a mess, too:

If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which [is] as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; [Namely], of the gods of the people which [are] round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the [one] end of the earth even unto the [other] end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. (Deuteronomy 13:6-10)
Do you know anyone who isn't Jewish like you or has ever questioned their faith? Kill them. If not, you will go to Hell.

Thou shalt not sacrifice unto the LORD thy God [any] bullock, or sheep, wherein is blemish, [or] any evilfavouredness: for that [is] an abomination unto the LORD thy God. (Deuteronomy 17:1)
I hope you have never sacrificed any evil or blemished animals. If you have, you will go to Hell.

If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that hath wrought wickedness in the sight of the LORD thy God, in transgressing his covenant, And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; And it be told thee, and thou hast heard [of it], and enquired diligently, and, behold, [it be] true, [and] the thing certain, [that] such abomination is wrought in Israel: Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, [even] that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die. At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; [but] at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death. The hands of the witnesses shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterward the hands of all the people. So thou shalt put the evil away from among you. (Deuteronomy 17:2-7)
Have you ever met someone who isn't Jewish? If you haven't killed them, you will go to Hell. And anyone who knows they're not Jewish better be dead, or you'll go to Hell.

Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids. Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour. (Leviticus 25:44-46)
Remember growing up and inheriting your family slaves? I hope they never rebelled.

If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever. And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her. And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money. (Exodus 21:2-11)
Ah, sweet set of rules for slavery set forth by the Bible.

And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money. (Exodus 21:20-21)
Straight pimping.

New Testament:
Luckily some guy came along about two thousand years ago. Yeshua bin Yusef. Joshua of Joseph. Jesus, the son of Joseph. Jesus, the anointed. Jesus Christ. This Jew came along and said that the past laws were pretty stupid and pretty complicated. So he said that since he was the son of God, you could just ignore the old laws. Everyone already ignores the dumb laws, anyways. He said this one little thing:

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.(Matthew 7:12)
Jesus basically says, "Forget the old rules that don't apply anymore (shellfish, poly-cotton blends, slavery, sexual slavery, farm rules, gays, the whole nine). Just treat others the way you'd like to be treated." Hell, every philosophy is founded on this Golden Rule. Ignore how explicit the Ten Commandments are. Would you like to be murdered? No. So don't do it.

2Apr/110

San Francisco 2011

Just got back from a week in San Francisco.

Golden Gate Bridge
Photos on Flickr

16Mar/110

Irish Temper

"You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals, hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is."

6Mar/110

Mel Gibson

Every time I watch "What Women Want," I imagine how different my life would be if Mel Gibson had snuck into my bedroom and offered me a copyrightng job.